One Eigth Of One Second-If That!

"Something is wrong with men." "Something is wrong with the world." "What's the deal?" "I don't understand it!" "You're so cool, and such a "catch" why are you still single?"

I've heard all of the above-and not just from inside my own mind. People say these sorts of things to me a lot.I don't think this is because I'm so HOT I make The Sun jealous-because I'm not. I am attractive, and since I've recently lost nearly 15 pounds, I think I dialed it up a bit. YAY me! But here's the thing, regardless of me 15 pounds heavier or lighter men have always checked me out. I have always checked men out. But I hardly ever get approached by men-even on dating sites it seems difficult-although it happens more than in "real life".

Hmmmm...REAL LIFE. What's the deal? Well I have been clued into what could be the deal on several occasions but insisted that, to put it bluntly, "Men are just pu***y's.

"Here's what I was told: "You seem very unapproachable because you look 'intelligent'." I wasn't quite sure how to take that one, other than "Good, I guess it's better to not be approached by men who don't think they're smart enough to talk to me."Here's another one I've heard several times once someone did talk to me, "WOW, you're so easy to talk to and fun. I really didn't think so by looking at you." When I asked why, I never really got a good answer more than, "You seem like someone who could rip a person up." I was just being me but apparently I come off as super scary. I have never and would never be rude to any man who came up and talked to me. People have feelings, and I respect that-a lot.

Anyway, I figured that either A) In a room full of "easy targets" why would someone take a chance in talking to the woman who obviously would take a little more work. By that I mean that I am not someone who's got her boobies hanging out and I do not flutter my eyelashes at every man seeking attention nor do I play dumb so men will feel superior. I do however enjoy people watching when those things are going on and I have a good time doing it. I also had decided that B) I am super attracted by men with confidence, a man who's not only going to be looking at me all night but one who will take a chance and talk to me. If they didn't, then they were not the man for me.

Here's the good part-A+B=C

And "C" is that I never get asked out, I never go on dates and I always keep hearing (in and out of my own mind) the sentences at the top of this blog. Oh, that along with "You gotta 'GET OUT THERE'!" Get out where??? I'm out in the world ALL OF THE TIME! No, I don't go to bars or to dance clubs much any more because I just don't care to do MORE people watching. I'm kinda over that, unless it's a group of us going and then I'm with a pack and women in pack's don't get approached anyway.

But I do leave my house. I do see men who I'm attracted to. I do see them looking. And in both instances nothing happens because A) I decided that I don't want to be with a man who I 'have to' approach and B) If they are looking at me or see me looking at them I divert my eyes as if acknowledging the little spark might burn my eyes and melt my face off a-la Raiders of the Lost Ark! LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY! I'm not sure if I ever kept eye contact for more than one eighth of one second.

No, I don't meet men. It sucks and it's lonely and up until the last couple of days I just didn't get it.Now I get it.

I happened upon a headline article on Yahoo! late the other night which lead me to another article and another article. It was all about dating and romance and relationships and sex and all of that great juicy stuff I love. I began reading one then two then a few articles by David Wygant . Then I went to his website. He's a dating expert, a MEETING people expert. I joined his mailing list and I've read some of his blogs and tonight I bought one of his products because he emailed me a super good $1 deal to do so. It's called "What's Your Excuse?"

This guy is easy to listen to and makes lots of sense AND got me to realize that I've been wrong for way too long. Holy crap, now that's a shocker! No, not really.

David says in his audio download, "Hold that eye contact for more than ONE EIGHTH OF ONE SECOND! HOLD IT FOR THREE WHOLE SECONDS!"

So, I decided that I am going to do what David says. I'm going to make myself approachable, I'm going to say hello to men, strike up conversations with men and I'm going to write about it here. I'm going to keep a diary of all of it.

Just so you know, this will not be easy. Although I am a very out going, easy to talk to, easy to talk with anyone type of person-I am incredibly shy when it comes to eye contact and finding things to say-especially if I'm attracted to a guy. It's like I'm two different people. My best friend can always tell if there's a guy at a party that I'm attracted to. He's the only one I WON'T start a conversation with or make eye contact with. I myself don't fully understand it, but that's just who I've been. I get all nervous and downright LAME. I've always thought it was funny when a boyfriend would accuse me of "flirting" with men. They just couldn't understand that if I was talking to them-I really wasn't interested in them in any way other than me just being my outgoing self. (They didn't get that while I was talking with Joe, that hot guy in the corner that kept looking at me was making me all nervous)!

Alright...I have more of David's audio's to listen to to get myself pumped, I do have kinda a lot going on in my life-but I will not make any more excuses.

~V~