Desperate For A Man? Hardly.

There's a possibility that this diary of mine might give the wrong impression. Let us go back in time a little bit.

Recently a friend of mine and I were discussing men and meeting men and knowing the men we know and trying to figure things out and ways of having men in our lives. Men, men, men. Then, either that night or the next I was on a dating site that I've been on with absolutely no luck in meeting anyone. I was frustrated. All of those things that people say to me about how I shouldn't be single, or the things that run through my mind, like "Shouldn't there be a man in my life?" were flying around my bedroom as I settled in my fantastic bed for the night.

When I awoke however, the first thought that ran through my mind was: "You don't need a man. Stop wondering and trying to figure it out. You're happy. You're life is exactly how you want it. Of course having a lover would be nice, but if there's going to be someone sharing this sanctuary with you-whether it's in two weeks or two years-it will be that way because it is meant to be."

I sat up in bed and smiled. I felt SO good. I felt so peaceful. I felt whole. The have to have answers, the questions were just gone.

It was just a day or two after that when I came across David Wygant's articles and realized that to be my true authentic self, I need to be open to everyone around me. One thing is for sure, that you can't have too much fun in your life...And life is short, so short. So, why not practice having fun? Why not pay attention to the world and then people in it? Why not make new friends? Why not start conversations with new people? There's no reason not to, and lots of reasons to do it.

I'm calling this my Dating Diary because I see this as an experiment and a new phase in my life and I want to document it and let people in. Maybe someone else will get the message? Maybe people will inspire me when something doesn't feel right or I need inspiration or encouragement? Who knows! But one thing is for sure, I am not doing any of this because I am desperate for a man.

Also, because this is my dating diary, I would assume that at some point I will begin to meet men and date them if it feels right. But I have no intention of sharing things here that would make anyone upset about their private life. People will remain anonymous while I share my experience.

I'm feeling much better today and I'm going to The Irvine Spectrum to see Wolverine with my best friend Carmen. Maybe we'll walk around a bit and I'll practice eye contact and saying hello...That sounds like fun, and I'm all about having fun!

~V~